The ability to get pissed and fall down is regarded as rite of passage both in New Zealand and Australia.

Former All Blacks manager Andrew Martin, Heroes spike Kiwi binge drink claims, Sydney Morning Herald, Feb 20 2005

Its just part of being good mates I suppose

NZ Prime Minister Helen Clark on NZ's decision to take boat people from Australia, Sydney Morning Herald, 3 September 2001

Kiwi - Australian for a New Zealander.  

In the words of one young female Kiwi encounted in a Toronto Hostel (1998):

Aussies and Kiwis are basically the same. We stick together like shit to a blanket.

Perhaps those words are evidence enough. Prior to Australia's federation in 1901, New Zealand was asked if it wanted to join in and become part of the great country that is Australia. Naturally, it told us to bugger off, but nevertheless it is probably the country that is closest to Australia culturally and linguistically. 

We were foaming at the mouth like wild dogs, tongues swollen, breath gripping our throats with agonising pain, and legs buckling under us... We joined about a dozen men in a mad scramble to drink this filth. We were parched with thirst, went on our hands and knees like famished beasts... Word got around the camp that there were Australians still out in the desert and the Kiwis hurried out with water bottles... all night long the New Zealanders worked bringing in men in all stages of exhaustion, some unconscious, others naked and in delirium, others with sunstroke

Digger Private Williams describing a training march in Egypt, 1915  

Australians often make fun of the Kiwi accent (although foreigners often have trouble telling the two apart).  The standard phrase made fun of is, "Fish and Chips", which to a Kiwi is invariably, "Fush and chups". Delightful. Great yards can also be made out of "Six" versus "sux".  Southern Kiwis also use the word "wee" as in small, to a much greater extent than Australians do. This because of their Scottish roots. 

One other influence is certain: the Scots. Place names like Dunedin and Invercargill and family names like Murry and McIntosh emphasise the significance of the Highland Immigration.

The Story of English, Robert McCrum, 1992

For example, most Australians could say, "I stayed up till the wee hours of the morning".  But they could not naturally say, "Look at that wee dog" without feeling as though they ought to be affecting (or bunging on) a scottish accent. 

Hopefully we will be a wee bit on edge because its always easy to build up to a test match when you've lost the previous one...

New Zealand All Black's Coach Wayne Smith, AAP, 28 August 2001 (they lost the next game anyway)

Apart from accent and the occasional small difference such as this one, Kiwis basically share the same vocabulary and speech patterns as Australians.

The similarity of New Zealand English to its Australian cousin is probably as irritating to New Zealanders as the similarity of Canadian and American English is to some Canadians.

The Story of English, Robert McCrum, 1992

Finally, we feel obliged to point out the Kiwi's All Black team were formally the most feared on the planet. However, they appear to have peaked in their 1987 world cup victory, and have been struggling ever since (although the Kiwis are very slow to realise this).  The world champion Australia team by contrast has gone from strength to strength, winning two world cups, smashing the British AND Irish Lions (whose desperation saw them playing two countries in one team) and demolishing the Kiwis and South Africans in Tri-nation series after Tri-nation series. 

Having played on Australia's previous tour to New Zealand - during which the tyres of the team bus were slashed in Dunedin, rocks were pelted at the dressing room and fish and toilet seats were among the missiles hurled at Australian fielders - Hayden said New Zealanders had some of the most hostile fans in the world. "I think they were disappointing," he said. "I got spat on. I don't think that's the right behaviour. The crowd control was handled well, though. The guy got kicked out, and his mates as well. We play entertaining cricket, not to be spat on or have cans thrown at you. You've got the two best [one-day] sides in the world playing each other, and it's ridiculous to think that you're going to be physically abused."

It's all just tactics, cry Black Caps, SMH, 21 Feb 05

I feel very sorry for the old Kiwis. They just can't help themselves. They come second at everything they do.

Alice Springs town councillor Ernie Nicholls, Pub rolls out red carpet, SMH, 3 March 2005

[Former Kiwi PM] Mr Lange says his relationship with [then Aussie PM] Mr Hawke was always strained: "His language was frequently obscene and he was steeped in the culture of mateship, which for me was never a good starting point."

Sharp pen skewers vain, obscene Hawke, SMH, 8 August 2005

Take a break from drinking like the author of this article did - Read why and how in his book Between Drinks: Escape the Routine, Take Control and Join the Clear Thinkers


Take a break from drinking like the author of this article did - Read why and how in his book Between Drinks: Escape the Routine, Take Control and Join the Clear Thinkers